Imaginary Golf

Two golfers join up at the first tee and each explains that due to a psychological problem, they play slightly differently than most golfers.

The soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls.

After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less then eagles, birdies and pars, they reach the 18th hole. The first one indicates because they ar
e equal in their score that he should hit first.

So he tees off with his imaginary ball.

"Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green"

The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has  also landed on the edge next to the other ball. The first guy lines up and drains his 20-footer to the bottom of the cup. 

"You wouldn't believe it, my ball just rolled into the cup, I win."

The second guy responds, "You won't believe it either, you just hit my ball." 

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Old Duffers

Can ye see your way to letting me have a golf ball, Jock?" Ian asked his old friend.

"But Ian, you said you were going to stop playing golf," said Jock reluctantly handing over an old spare.

"By degrees, Jock. By degrees," replied Ian pocketing the ball.

"I've stopped buying balls as a first step."

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New Clubs

Carl and Dave were getting ready to tee off on the first hole when Dave noticed that Carl got a new set of clubs.

Dave asked Carl how he liked the clubs and if they've helped his game at all.

Carl replied, "Oh yeah, they're great clubs! They've added at least 25 yards
to my slices, about 30 yards to my hooks and you would be surprised at the
size of my divots!"

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 A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.

Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining
that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance

and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball towards the flag on the first green"

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and
onto the green, where it stopped inches from t
he hole.

"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
After he was able to speak again the pro finally said, 
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup."

"Oh great! NOW you tell me," said the beginner in a disgusted tone. 

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